2 Powerful Ways To be Free Of Defense Mechanisms Of Mind For successful life.

2 Powerful Ways To be Free Of Defense Mechanisms Of Mind For Successful life.


Do you know that defense mechanisms of mind will keep you away from experiencing reality and success?

And it keeps you away from doing what you love.
If you want to experience the life you wanted to live and do what you are passionate about, you should be aware of your defense mechanisms of the mind.

I will let you know how defense mechanisms of mind work and influence your success in every aspect of your life.

Let's analyse how defence mechanisms of mind rule your destiny.

Defence mechanisms are the techniques created by the mind to reduce discomfort or anxiety and a self-deceiving process, which will not let you face reality.

If any thought doesn't meet its required satisfaction, then it sends a signal of anxiety to the ego, and the ego put all its power to defend them.

They are completely unconscious and deep-rooted in your mind since ages. The mind is in itself a massive defense mechanism, always creates an obstacle to deal with reality.

Especially when you want to do anything new, it comes up with any of these types of defense mechanisms like denial, repression, regression, projection, displacement, rejection, avoidance, sublimation, rationalization, and intellectualization.

When situations and circumstances lose control and become tough to handle, the ego finds its a threat, which is a part of your mind immediately employs any one of the defence mechanisms to get out of the situation.

Long back when I read about defence mechanisms I wondered why the hell I should defend anything instead of facing the situation as it is.

Then I have started noticing my own life why am I using these defense mechanisms? and even what situations are compelling me to use.

I have discovered that while I was defending the situations I was not conscious and moreover I was deceiving myself saying that it's better to stay where you are and come out of the discomfort feeling right now. 

This is what makes everyone to come up with the defense mechanisms. And after that when I had to face the same kind of situations, I have tried to be conscious, means being present.

When I have started being conscious and in intense presence, the defense mechanisms lost its grip and the obsession to employ them have weakened.

I am still alive not using the defense mechanisms, 

So, what's going on here! is the ego creates an emergency to defend any situation in your life, even though it is not serious threatening, but the ego thinks that so.

I still wonder what all these days I was just deceiving my self that defending will give me power and fulfilment, but the truth is on the other side of the coin that defending everything in my life will take me away from the reality and stop me to do what I love and what I want.

Success and happiness are far away in your life if your life is occupied with all kinds of defense mechanisms of the mind. The ego won't let you accept the truth and leaves you in deep void and regret.

You don't need to analyse each and every aspect of the defense mechanisms but look into it as a whole byproduct of your mind.
As per psychology, the mind is divided into THE ID, THE EGO, AND THE SUPEREGO.

These are not separate entities apart from your mind. ID, EGO AND THE SUPEREGO functions together for your survival.

All defense mechanisms are part of your ego, and the ego is a part of your mind. If you could be aware of any one of these mechanisms, you could catch yourself with the other mechanisms.

To some extent using defence mechanisms are helpful to relieve yourself from anxiety, but who is using it? you don't even know that you are used by the ego and following it.

The insane part is you are completely unconscious of what mechanisms your mind is using at a particular moment and everything in your mind is happening subconsciously.

But you can be aware of your mind if you focus on yourself, instead of giving attention to the unnecessary things in the outside world..

What happens when you focus on other things, then your energy will drain completely and miss the chance to improve yourself. 

If you want to be successful and happy in your life, then there is only one option is to look into yourself and understand what your mind is saying.

And the interesting part is that you cannot control your mind and say that " I have controlled my mind".

Controlling and getting rid of the defense mechanisms of mind is like:

Imagine, if you assume the rope to be a snake in the dark night, then there is no question of getting rid of the snake or killing it. In this case, you should be aware of the rope, instead of getting rid of the illusory snake.

The same applies to your defense mechanisms of the mind, you should be aware of how your mind works will allow you to be free of it and taste the success and happiness of life.

Let us see what it takes to be free of defense mechanisms of mind for a successful and happy life.

1. ACCEPT AS IT IS: Look at the situations, people, things and circumstances as they are, you might probably say that "you want me to accept all negative things in my life as they are".

No, not exactly, I want you to accept and be aware of your feelings and emotions in the present moment completely.

When you accept and experience the situations as they are, for now, all else will change sooner or later, they have to, rather than defending the situations and making it complicated.

Immediately after accepting, you will be able to notice what are the thoughts bothering you, the moment you notice they will tend to move on and create awareness in you.

All problems are because of not being aware of your mind and its patterns, being aware of your own thoughts will allow you to be free of all defence mechanisms.

Most importantly, when you defend the situations which you don't want to be in will not vanish as you anticipate, they will haunt you and reoccur unless you experience it completely.

There is an easy way to do this:

In my case, if I find myself in a situation that I don't want, then I follow the below steps.

  • Accept what others are saying.
  • Be aware of your thoughts.
  • Take action on what you love.

For instance: If anyone says to me that " You can't write a book forever". Then I will accept the fact that this statement is not about me but it is about their own capability of writing a book.

Yes, this is true that if anyone says something unacceptable to you, is not really about you, they are stating their own inability to do the things in their lives.

In psychology, it is called Projection this is the defence mechanism created by the mind when it feels the insecurity.

If you recognise that you are judging other people it is not about others but it is about your own state of mind when you find others doing it, then it is about themselves.

Getting a clear perception of the situations through psychological aspects, then you could notice a gradual change in your thinking and actions.

Another example will make it clear:

For instance, if I say that " You are not looking good, or you are ugly". It shows that I have been always thinking that I am not looking good and ugly.

If my thinking is the other way like " You are awesome and wonderful". Again it is a statement about me, but not you.

It is certain that if my opinion about me is wonderful, then the whole world looks wonderful.

What's going on here! is usually when something unacceptable statements comes from others, we drain our energy by either thinking about it vigorously or employing any strong defence mechanism.

People around you have no time to think about others actually, they always 24/7 think about themselves, including you and me. 

What happens here is when they are in a conversation, all those things they thought about themselves comes on to the surface as judging, a piece of advice, and anything positive or negative statements about others are their own thoughts about themselves.

So you don't need to focus on what others are saying whatsoever.

A lot of energy is discharged when you try to defend or even continuously thinking about the situation, instead, you save your energy by not getting into the heated argument of defending and later you can use this energy for taking action.


Now you can focus on your own thoughts, you could take action as per the situation demands.

Everyone imagines themselves in the situation and later judges about others. By knowing this you no need to prove them wrong in any way and all else you can do is to notice them and ignore.

This is what brings everyone to prove others wrong, actually, your thoughts have sidetracked, instead of focusing on your own thoughts and find a solution.

Nothing comes out of proving others wrong, blaming, the grudge will lead to fear, guilt, anxiety, and jealous which in turn cause you more suffering.

This is an act of ego satisfaction which causes self-destruction.
It can be avoided by ignoring but being aware of what others are saying. 

Every time you try and give attention to yourself and know it better than anyone else. Being aware of your thoughts is so liberating and true power emerges from within and makes you stronger and successful.

When you are free from your mental noise and start giving attention to your self, you can choose and decide clearly what to do at that moment.

The moment you make the right decision at the right moment, then you don't need to achieve success and happiness, you are already on that path.


Now, you are not going to take action to prove others wrong but to prove your own mind that you can take action despite your ego resisting it.

Recognise what's there in your present moment, and gather information on what could you do about the situation.

You can use the energy, which was saved not defending the situations to take appropriate action, 90% of the obstacles will get resolved when you take action.

It is important to understand that all your actions happen because of your thoughts emotions and intentions, so you can change them to change your actions when your actions change, your situations and end results change.



Taking responsibility is a completely different story, the majority of the people transfer their responsibility to others by blaming for their failures and claiming the credit for their own success.  

This looks somewhat legit all the times, in fact, this kind of self-deceiving tactic created by ego always ends up in losing opportunities coming in, to grow yourself.

Which even gives you the temporary pleasure of the ego satisfying itself at that moment, but eventually you will lose the precious clue about your success in every aspect of your life.

To avoid this happening, you need to take 100% responsibility of your self by understanding that it's nothing to do with others are responsible for your failures.

Someone said to THOMAS EDISON that you have failed 1000 times before inventing the electric bulb, then Edison said that " It took me 1000 steps to invent the electric bulb"

It is the way you perceive the things in your life if you see it as an obstacle then indeed it is, if you see that obstacle as a step then it turns into a chance to learn and go ahead.

There are no failures and worries at all, but there is only success and happiness. All the obstacles of failures and worries are the stepping stones to a successful and happy life.

Now here is the solution:

The obstacles come to you as people and things around and situations with people and things, Right.

For people who are bothering you and creating a difficult time, instead of fighting with them, you can simply ask questions.

Like, for instance, I had a thought to start a small business, here people around me started attacking me with their piece of advice and judging me that " I can't do it", " You can only do this", " This is not possible".

I asked them why can't I do it? and why should I only do this and this lastly why is it not possible?.

Believe me, 90% of the people whether it is my family or friends have no answer to my question 'why' and rest of the10%  came up with the answers like:

  • Because the market is down.
  • Because everyone is not doing it.
  • Everyone has not succeeded in it.
  • And finally, They said because " I myself can't do it".

I find it quite funny and though these are not for me but about themselves and said " It is just your opinion on business", I can take it or break it, I have done the second one and started with my business anyway.

It's a different issue whether I am going to be successful or not, but the decision should be only from myself so that I don't have to blame or throw the responsibility on others when I fail.

It is more important that what is your own opinion on it, and what are your emotions and feelings speaking to you? 

When you are busy defending others and the situations, you will not be able to listen to your emotions and feelings.

But when you fail to listen to your self then you miss the opportunity to learn completely, because the answers to all your questions come from within you not from the outside world.

You start focusing on what are your strengths and weaknesses so that you can take decisions based on your strengths and gradually turning your weaknesses into your strengths.

Conclude that no one is responsible for your present conditions and at the stage where you are now, it is that your own responsibility has created the position you are in.

Understanding this deeply you will create an awareness, which will reflect the power to find the opportunities to grow further despite any obstacles.

Final thoughts on defense mechanisms of mind:

There are two primary choices in life to accept conditions as they exist or accept the responsibility for changing them.
                                                          Dr Denis Waitely.

No matter what, the defence mechanisms will cause the destruction of success and happiness.

Yes,  I do agree that some times they seem to be helpful in getting rid of the discomfort temporarily, but for that relief and fake pleasure, you need to pay the cost of your whole success and happiness of your life.

Whatever the situation is or wherever you are, you start accepting people and situations around you, then you will see the power of your own self revealing the truths behind your mind and allows you to focus on yourself.

So that you can gradually pinpoint your flaws and improve for an extremely successful life.

When you give your attention to focus only on yourself, then you have done your part quite efficiently and the rest of the things like success, career, happiness will follow you.

Therefore no defence mechanisms can overtake you from being successful and happy in your life.

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Milan Tomic

Hi. I’m Designer of Blog Magic. I’m CEO/Founder of ThemeXpose. I’m Creative Art Director, Web Designer, UI/UX Designer, Interaction Designer, Industrial Designer, Web Developer, Business Enthusiast, StartUp Enthusiast, Speaker, Writer and Photographer. Inspired to make things looks better.

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